I think the desire to be 对 is another survival mechanism that humans use in order to manage uncertainty. The belief that the 真相 is absolute and that our aim in life is to find it and live 通过 it is false. Trying to make others live 通过 our 真相 is even worse. This mindset brings lots of pain and misery to everybody and if we want 幸福 to come into our life, we need to let go of our desire to be 对.
The desire to be 对 is always accompanied 通过 the risk of losing the relationship, because the question who is 对 only appears when there is a 冲突. Being 对 is another part of our 身份, our emotional “skeleton”, and most people believe that letting go of it might make them unstable. In fact, people who have a high need to be 对 are trying to overcome a deep feeling inside of them that they are wrong. People who are secure trust that they are OK, that their 信念 are good for them and that they only need to follow what is 对 for them, so they do not need to “prove their points” to others.